In the last blog we spoke about the first two layers of the kosha’s, sheaths, layers of the human body, the physical body Ana-maya Kosha, and Prana-maya Kosha, in this blog we will be discussing the remaining three Kosha’s. 

Just to repeat some of the basics if you didn’t get a chance to read the previous blog, Yoga therapy works with the five Koshas, layers or sheaths of the human body,  

·     The physical body – Anna- maya kosha, 

·     The energy Body – Prana-maya kosha 

·     The mental and emotional body – Mano-maya kosha 

·     The Witness body – Vjana-maya kosha 

·     The bliss body – Ana-maya kosha 

Often times so many people get so caught up in just the physical-ness of the relationship that you end up neglecting, the other layers, or human sheaths, of not only your own self, but also the layers of your partner – most humans don’t even know that there are so many layers! So don’t sweat it, we are all here to learn~

The key to a thriving relationship is first and foremost, knowledge.You need to be equipped with knowledge about yourself AND knowledge, wisdom and communications skills to be able to share that information to your bae, and finally knowledge about your partners layers of their body/bodies – all of which are never ending processes of learning~

Each layer of the human body requires nurturance, connection and love to thrive, essentially the healing of one layer has an influence and wellbeing on the whole. Below I’m going to describe, what each remaining layer of the human sheath actually is, where problems arise between couples on this layer, and how to fix it.

Mano-maya Kosha - The Mental/Emotional Body 

The mental emotional body is like the energy body in that it is also invisible ‘naked to the eye’ but is quite real / felt, am I right? Whether you want to categorize this as an entire layer of the human body, or a subgroup of collected emotions like love, compassion, gratitude, anger, jealousy, fear, they can easily be felt by the average joe and you instantly know what I’m talking about – no mystery here, especially if your relationship is based on that whole la passion~ Now, just how real do emotions get in your body?

Where attention goes, energy flows. 

Yes, emotions are a distinct energy, and they do flow, move, get blocked, get trapped in certain areas of your body. It is not a random thing that certain areas of your body gets sick, why the liver and not the pancreas? Why the heart and not the kidneys? Why the uterus and not your breasts? All of it is directly correlated to an emotional energetic charge and intensity that gets trapped in that correlated area. For my personal bible, I go here for references of which part of the body means what. What I am essentially trying to break down here is, 

All diseases stem from the mental/emotional layer of the human body. 

This blew my mind, I feel like this is so huge, so I’m going to repeat my self.

All diseases, whether physical, mental, or spiritual stem from this layer of the body. 

Isn’t this kind of like a revelation in itself? All diseases stem from this layer alone, guys I feel like I have given you the hidden secret of life. And you’re absolutely welcome. YES!

However… However… however…. Let me give you the caveat, this applies to diseases that stem from the SELF and not those that are given to us by God, that is a mystery for our perfecting – you are going to have to ask Him yourself! Unfortunately He hasn’t spilled the beans to me yet… yet…. I’m still hoping and praying for the answer though…. But I think that kind of stuff is reserved for the afterlife, so I’m really just excited to know eventually!

That is why conscious attention to parts of your body whilst doing yoga is half the trick, what you think matters! And not only is it the type of matter that is of course ‘of importance’, it is also the kind of matter that is a substance, a material thing. Thinking creates energy, and energy becomes matter.  Can you tell me what is the most famous formula of all times is?  

E = mc^2

Kinetic Energy = mass * speed of light ^ 2

Kinetic energy over speed of light squared equals a mass. Your emotions have an energetic power, and they eventually become a substance if speedy and strong enough, like a stress hormone, a chemical signal in your body secreted by the adrenals -  an emerging stress energy emerges in your body, and quite really, emerges, strong, and potent to do something, to move something, to push something, we tend to flirt with these urges and think its cute and say stop it~ calm down there is nothing going down, but it doesn’t mess around and congeals that ball of energy into a substance, and floats around in your system in storage cause it loves you. But when the storm calms down, it snuggles itself in an organ so that it can be used for later. 

So in a couple-dom, where are your thinking thoughts going? Where are the majority of your thoughts fixated on? Are emotions able to be mutually acknowledged, are there certain emotions that you allow in open display and not others? Do you have a system set in place for when someone needs to express something that requires vulnerability, and the other to hold space? The giver and taker aspects, do you got that down? What does that look like and are you happy about it?

Two suggestions in particularly that come to mind as an integrative yoga therapist to assist this layer are meditation and reflection. 

Meditation: Not many people discipline their wandering mind, and boy will it go places, places where they don’t even adhere to human dignity, and without a conscious awareness, you are going to that the wandering mind is your reality, your true-self, so get to meditation, and get to learning how to create that quiet space for your mind to rest – this takes skills and nothing in our world provides a system for us to collectively learn how to do this, so this has to be our own initiative for now. As an integrative yoga therapist, I don’t always recommend people to do yoga, especially if it is not something that brings you inherent joy, but I unanimously tell people to meditate, because you are human, and you have a soul, and if you got a soul, get to nourishing it….now…. I don’t even want to hear it!

Reflection: this will help to get to know your own thoughts, what you think in your own mind, and then to clean it up to share with your love. Because most people don’t intentionally create a space, and I mean quite literally an intentional space, like a building, like an architectural mind space that you can, share anything you want and need – where all is accepted.

You see, we pick and choose, curate our thoughts, sometimes to only write those things that are worthy of human dignity. The problem is that when you don't’ do it in your own time, and give your self the opportunity to say it in the crass way that you felt it initially, your most precious one gets the brunt of it given the proximity, physical, emotional and spiritual closeness that you share.

So this is really just about taking responsibility for your thoughts, so that you are able to truly communicate what you are saying. When couples fight, and the emotions are high, and no body understands each other, it’s just dumb guys, honestly, like stop. Go to your own corners, reflect, write out all your anger the way you feel it, that emotional energy, urge NEEDS to be channeled, breaking it down to physics, “energy cannot be created nor destroyed” so the emotional energy is not going anywhere if you don’t channel it, direct it, you can’t stop it, you can’t repress it, but you can channel, canalize it some place else safely, for that waterfall can nourish and be parked for an entire forest to flourish and thrive – but its going to kill your love if she/he was directly underneath it. What you bring to your sugar plum sweet sauce is your clip board notes of what you want to say and is clear in your thoughts and communication line, and the other person can understand you in what you mean and want. 

Continue Reading to Part III

Everything you ever wanted to know about how Yoga Therapy can help your Intimate Relationship Part III

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Nahal Haghbin is an Integrative Yoga Therapist in training in Kripalu School of Integrative Yoga Therapy and a globally certified Yoga Alliance Yoga Teacher based in China.  She conducts lectures, private and group asana and consultations on Yoga & Integrative Yoga Therapy in person and online. Book an online couples yoga session with her on Yoga Avec Moi website or find her in person at her Yoga Studio based in Tianjin, called Moments Lotus Yoga Studio near Italian Style street.